I have had bad experiences with sharing them and it has made me feel upset + at times made me spiral
These books feel like a part of me, when others start claiming them, as silly as it sounds, it feels like I'm losing a part of myself + most of the times people don't even appreciate the info
Levels
1. Untouchable: keep to my heart, severely underrated books, includes characters that I either heavily relate to or that I think of everyday
2. Share with care: I enjoyed these books, underrated, still personal
3. Safe to recommend: books I have seen some people talk about already, not a personal connection to any of these
Rules
Tier 1. Never lend or recommend: keep private
Tier 2. Only with people who: understand why I gatekeep, show genuine curiosity and respect, will not claim or post them publicly
Tier 3. Share freely: trial books (the ones that aren't too personal, a test to see how they would treat your real gems)
Phrases to use
"It's kind of a secret read for me, I keep it close to my heart"
"It's one of my sacred reads, I don't share it"
"this one's really personal to me, so I keep it private"
"It's one of those books that has a piece of my heart, I don't share it but it means a lot to me"
"I know it might sound odd but that book feels like a part of me, so I like to keep it private"
"I keep that one private but I can recommend something similar"
Reminders
Helps me keep boundaries, instead of just giving it to anyone
Stress less + prevents spiraling
It protects my emotional connection to the book
If they really want to find the book they would have spent the time to look for it, that's what I do
Ways to gatekeep
Use initials instead of the name
Make your own nicknames for them (don't use any of the ones that they use in the book)
Sources to find books
Google, example: (insert name of character) book character
Reddit forums: ask people (instert a quote, first name of the character, any knowledge you have of the book)